As I walked, I thought about how this was the last walk we would take with him still on the inside. I thought about how much I love him and all the things we have done together. I looked at my weight set and remembered all our summer workouts and all those squats we did. I looked at my yard chair and thought about the time we spent together sitting in the sun and making homemade ice cream with family. I went and sat under the big oak tree where my Dad's memorial rests and told Gus how proud Grandpa would be of him.
As I sat there, I cried. I told God how grateful I was. How thankful I am. And as I cried, I remembered the storm He had sent me that summer night in July. I remembered what He told me. I don't know what is to come, but I know He said it is going to be ok. So as I wrestle with all my insecurity, all my fear and all my doubts, I am holding onto what God told me.... it is all going to be alright.
We are scheduled to induce tomorrow night at 8pm. I imagine Gus will be here early Tuesday morning. I am by the doctor's estimate 41 weeks and 3 days pregnant today... but by my calculations I am only 40 weeks and a few days. I believe whole heartedly my due date was wrong. My OB thinks Gus will be 8 to 8.8 pounds. He has not had anything on his scans to indicate serious problems to date. In fact, there has never been anything on his scans, but a soft marker. NICU is supposed to be present at birth and it is my sincere hope that Gus doesn't need any extra help. It has been the hardest walk in my life... but I can honestly say that I have never loved anyone more. I am truly grateful for my family and my support system. I could not have done this as well without you. Please pray for my baby boy. Goodnight 🙏
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