Just An Update

It has been bothering me that my last post was so.... sad. I don't like leaving things on such a doomed note. I will admit, there have been some very hard days and moments lately. Yesterday was particularly rough. Anytime I troll the internet for hope, I seem to find a ton of negatives and few to no positives. Google is not your friend guys. It only fuels fear and emotional bombs that don't do you any good. It is important to get as much information as you can, but google is not always the best place to get it. I highly recommend going to people with experience for answers. Not doctors, actual families. Even then, you have to be careful who you reach out to, and you will know almost immediately if they will be helpful and encouraging to you, or if they will try to steal your hope. I have mentioned before there is a very large range of outcomes, even though statistics would have you believe everybody experiences the same thing. This is not true. I know better than to start googling, but it was like yesterday once I started I could not stop, and thus ended up utterly unhelpable. I don't think unhelpable is actually a word lol, but you get it.

I feel much better today. I slept so hard, my husband said I was talking in my sleep, saying, "hello? hello?' I suppose I was answering a phone lol, I don't know. But I know being exhausted is never good! I slept till 9am, and I feel so much better now. Gus is up in my diaphragm, and his feet are under my ribs. He has been an active boy lately. He has defiantly learned a new game we started a few days ago. We call it "Knock, Knock".  I tap him, and he taps me back. I ask him where is mamma, and he bumps me back. I love it, and he will only play it with me! I have really enjoyed it and it makes me feel so good. Last week we got to see him SMILING on ultrasound. This was also wonderful, and it encourages me greatly.

Health wise, we have been very blessed. He looked great on his BPP scan, and it is very evident he is growing. He has dimples on his cheeks and knuckles. For T18, weight is very important. The bigger he is the better. It was predicted he would weigh 5 to 5 1/2 lbs. This is very good, but I am hoping he gets up to 6 lbs. I should never complain about anything, because he has certainly done outstanding in the T18 world. Of course I stress, and of course I have a hard time sometimes, but I am fully aware of how much we have going for us and am extremely grateful. As the clock ticks, I continue to think, I am just not ready. My due date is in 3 weeks, and I hope that when it is time to go, I am excited and not afraid. I spend most days just being with Gus. I adore my time with him. He has changed me in so many ways, things I could never have known without him being a part of my life. I probably don't even know the full extent of the lessons I have and will continue to learn from him. Thank you all for your love and prayers and continued encouragement in our journey together. I am so happy to share Gus with everyone.


See that sweet dimple!